multiamory podcast transcript

I'm riffing on multiple tangents here and I'm sorry about that, but I'm seeing some nodding and I hope that that's useful. Podcast Multiamory September 14, 2021 relationship anarchy , smorgasbord , RA , relationship , polyamory Facebook 0 Twitter LinkedIn 0 Reddit Tumblr Pinterest 0 0 Likes JD, do you have anything to say? PRESS KIT | SITE MAP | PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS OF USE | CONTACT, 241 - Five Ways To Suck Less At Communication: The Revival, 227 - Rules vs. Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships on Apple Podcasts [MUSIC . Rev. A 'Barbie' v. 'Oppenheimer' Game : Pop Culture Happy Hour Emily: Whoa, that's impressive too. Find more about her on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter at @drjoli_hamilton, and at www.JoliQuiz.com and www.theyearofopening.com. It's great. Before we move away from this particular piece, I was talking about the more generalized love, the thing that we should be striving for as Christians. Ill get those and then Ill stockpile and then when I'm traveling I won't do that, and maybe if I'm coming home for a little bit I'll just order like one more replacement head or something like that, so it also very easy online to just activate it, reactivate it, turn it off for a while, order a new cover for travelling or whatever. Today we're joined by Billy Procida to answer some more of our Patreon listeners' questions! That gets us past a lot of the old testament and there's some new testament passages some things that are just bad translation and other things I could go on. You don't have to be with anybody. Joli helps people create non-monogamous partnerships that are custom-built for their authentic selves, no more shrinking, pretending, or hiding required.Today, Joli is here to talk about her research on jealousy and go in depth about her five step approach to managing it, along with some of her other tools and experience she uses in her practice. I think Jesus' answer would be pretty similar. If you're a leadership in a church, I think it's really hard especially if you're a pastor. Joli also co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast with her anchor partner, Ken. There are queer theologians that are taking that and saying, "Maybe we have this erotic thing going on with Jesus." I'm also a high school youth minister at a Lutheran church, a liberal Lutheran church here in the Twin Cities. In the Bible, virginity is only ever referred to women and that's only because virginity is an economic thing in the ancient world. She is the author of Non-monogamy and Neurodiversity, which was published in February 2023. J.D. 55 min MAY 3, 2022 Repeating Unhealthy Relationship Patterns Part 1 of 2 Repeating Unhealthy Relationship Patterns Part 1 of 2 This week we're beginning a two-part discussion about unhealthy relationship patterns and why we sometimes tend to repeat them, sometimes even when we know they're unhealthy. : Prepare to have your mind blown, I know mine was. I can tell that you're working on your Ph.D. right now and on your thesis because I could tell your brain just has too much information. Are you ready to talk about jealousy again?! Rev. That's really all we're going to talk about. There's this, the polyamorous Christ is this new term that's gaining traction which I'm all for. Find more about her on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter at @drjoli_hamilton, and at www.JoliQuiz.com and www.theyearofopening.com. Mechelke:Yes, it's like a theological jargon for the narrative of the Bible, the things that you hear. That's usually done not with integrity from my point of view, but that's the claim on the one side. Enter the code 'OPENLOVE' and apply. I guess you cant write reviews on all of the sites where you listen to podcasts, but specifically, iTunes and Stitcher are the big ones as far as review go. Is that a word? Podcasts & Shows Expand/collapse submenu for Podcasts & Shows. For network details, contact cameron@pleasurepodcasts.com. Dedeker: Let me just say I just have to interject, to say that this is so exciting. How can circular economy shift plastics Industry agenda - EY J.D. One of the other things that impedes progress in terms of what pastors talk about is also that a lot of pastors went to grad school a long time ago. See Bio. We've actually said similar things - if you're in parts of the country where it's hard to find a polyamory meet up or something like that, that it's worth it if you have to drive a few hours even to have some kind of community maybe once a month or every couple of months or just something to actually have a little bit of time where you can talk without constantly having to monitor what am I saying? In addition to helping us continue to create new content and new projects, you also get extra rewards and exclusive content and discussions.You can order Dedeker's book,The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory: Everything You Need to Know about Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love by clicking here. At $9s a month, you get access to all those things plus our private video discussion group. I see it as a ritual that enables us to recognize that we can be forgiven. Get access to ad-free episodes, monthly video discussion groups, and more by becoming aPatreon supporter! J.D. Some resources: A fantastic, short book which provides a great jumping off point for those who are new to the concept of non-monogamy and want to learn more: https://www.amazon.com/When-Someone-Love-Polyamorous-Understanding/dp/0996460187/ref=sr_1_5?qid=1689193889&refinements=p_27%3ADr.+Elisabeth+Sheff&s=books&sr=1-5&text=Dr.+Elisabeth+Sheff Very informative blog posts on Polyamory, family, and more by Dr. Elisabeth Sheff: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door Additional podcast episode on coming out to parents from our friend Libby Sinback: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-your-mom/id1487987837?i=1000554057851 Great crash course on polyamory, definitions, what it is and isnt etc https://unknownmetric.medium.com/the-coffee-break-polyamory-primer-6c64b4dc53de This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. I love them because theyre a portable sleek, sexy toothbrush. Austin: Maybe fruitful for somebody's new paper if they're looking for a project. Either I think more extreme camp or either people interpreted as like, clearly, this is what God established. It's a large part of Jesus' message. The Relationship Podcast People Are Afraid To Listen To - Brand Desk I don't know, I lost the thread of what Im trying to ask, but what's the stance now unlike what healthy sexuality is while still living a Christian lifestyle? Rev. Austin:I'm Austin Adkinson, I am a United Methodist pastor in Seattle. Ive really liked it. : On this episode of the Multiamory podcast, we're talking about polyamory, sexuality, and Christianity. I don't know if that passage has been done in academic circles around this. Jase: On this episode of the Multiamory podcast, we're talking about polyamory, sexuality, and Christianity. Multiamory is a proud member of Pleasure Podcasts. My current projects are around sexuality education with youth in the church-. Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships. Actually, no. I think more of what Jesus' answer is roughly around. There's a good chance that somebody would tell the [unintelligible 01:01:36]committee and they'd grill me about it and they'd be like, "Well, I'm sorry, it doesn't meet up to that document called guidelines and expectations," it's the rules for pastors, "[unintelligible 01:01:44] leaders" they call it. Dedeker: He was almost going to go seminary. I would say most of it's happening at the congregational level. ]If you want your question answered on one of our future Q&A episodes, consider joining our Patreon community! Let me try again. Join Our . Pastors have been out of school for a long time, and they're not seeing what some of the newest academic work is putting out. Alyssa is a biology Ph.D., professional speaker, and writer. I would say it's really going to vary very much by congregation and what the local situation is and people will have to figure out their own setting for themselves about whether a space is safe or not. What is that? Multiamory is a proud member of Pleasure Podcasts. We can talk about that after. In that monastic life, particularly in medieval times, there's a lot of talk about sexual relationships in monastic life. I'm trying to find ways of being able to say, without pulling the carpet out from under some folks, that really it doesn't matter who you're sleeping with, but how you take care of those people. Many things that are rich, but not universally applicable. I'm sure a lot of people know that. Well, Austin, J.D., thank you so much for taking the time to join us on the show today. isnt studying Lutheran and Queer theologies he enjoys drinking beer on the deck and paddling with his partner Andrew in Minnesotas BWCAW. Launched in 2014, Multiamory is a weekly podcast about relationship advice, sex, dating, and communication presented from a non-monogamous perspective, but keeping a monogamous audience in mind. Please send us your feedback and questions to info@multiamory.com, find us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast, tweet at us @Multiamory, check out our Facebook Page, visit our website Multiamory.com, or you can leave us a voicemail at 678-MULTI-05. This week's episode is for everyone out there who has had a loved one come out to them as non-monogamous. He pointed out little things like that as well as looking at some of the specific wording used in the old testament about that it's an abomination for a man to lie with another man. -but reading through it so Emily will finally know what the heck it's all about. If you want to give one of their electric toothbrushes a try, plus get a free refill, check them out at tryquip.com/Multiamory.Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack. When she died, who would be her husband in heaven? Rev. There's two of them doing this particular sermon and the other one talks about maybe a few passages in the Bible making parallels to polyamory with the way that God loves us and the way that God teaches us to love. Is that still the debate about this specific wordings or has it moved to some other place than that? We have these ideas of what Christianity is within our culture and within western literature. Jase:-but reading through it so Emily will finally know what the heck it's all about. I think it's more just like one big solo poly party where it's like, you can be autonomous. Austin Adkinson, a Methodist pastor in Seattle, and J.D. I would say that, that is a depiction of the way things are and not the way things should be right. Emily: I thought it was the greatest story ever told. This week we're circling back to boundaries once again! He says "Who is my mother? Join Beducated for 40% off their yearly pass and level up your sex life at https://beducate.me/bg2326-multiamory with promo code multiamoryThis episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Its origins are not really something that comes from any of the passages directly from Jesus or from other places. "Peace be with you! Which makes it really hard for folks to find a church where they might feel accepted because it's something that is intentionally kept below the surface. I'm Austin Adkinson, I am a United Methodist pastor in Seattle. There are a lot of feelings that may come up; you may feel confused, afraid for their wellbeing, or you may have not even heard the term before at all. Rev. Mechelke: It's the most dangerous book ever written, come on. I shook my head I know a little bit at one point but mostly, yes. There are databases where you can search for churches based on how LGBTQIA friendly they are. Thinking of the Bible and putting it in place historically versus the way that at least I think the Bible is presented to a lot of us. What's funny is it gets highlighted by Google Docs as being spelled wrong, and when I highlight over it, it wants it to be bwah bwah bwah ahh, with spaces in between . J.D. I think it can be really misleading because we think the Bible must be that same sort of guidebook. He's been published in Mashable and Marie Claire, and has interviewed his exes for over 9 years on The Manwhore Podcast [feel free to give a disclaimer that it's not exactly the bro show they'd expect from the title it's kind of like Dan Savage meets Marc Maron. That just takes a few minutes and just do that at iTunes or Stitcher and write us a review. is if we think that this whole document is just like, this is how you should live your life, then we're going to get into some confusing territory. Oh, God, I love when Jesus says "bush". Transcript: Ezra Klein Interviews Barbara Kingsolver She is also a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT certified sex educator. Emily: Prepare to have your mind blown, I know mine was. Connect with your partner every day using Paired. Mechelke: Actually, no. Dedeker:Yes. Emily: I so appreciate that there are going to be all these different viewpoints and still within like the context of faith and the context of God and this being an important thing, but still that there's a lot of leeway I guess. The note of it being a complicated document. 332 - Transactional Relationships Multiamory Youll become part of an incredible community of open, caring and supportive people who not only work to improve their own lives, but actively help others on their journey. 291 - Attachment Theory and Polyamory Multiamory Jase: On this episode of the multiamory podcast, we're talking about the Triforce of communication. It's not about the body at that point. Mechelke: Either way, it's kind of crazy. I would say it's actively part of the tension that it's around. : did you say the word Christian symbols? Something that Jase and Dedeker have both said to me is even if you're not practicing religion, it seems like there is like a need for community and that space still. I was like, "There are different symbols? 394 - 50 Ways to Handle Jealousy - Part 1 Multiamory There's a good chance that somebody would tell the, committee and they'd grill me about it and they'd be like, "Well, I'm sorry, it doesn't meet up to that document called guidelines and expectations," it's the rules for pastors, ". . We're back with another Q&A episode to answer some more listener questions! This isn't very safe to say, but God's a total slut in that sense. That's what most of our lives are like. Mechelke:I could speak to the theologicalship that's going on, but Austin might be more equipped to deal with what's actually going on in the church because my church is super gay, we've been marrying same-sex couples since the '80s-. Emily: You basically put a very different life you're leading me now, Jase. I told you about that. We had a guest speaker come to our school and he was a former Catholic priest who was giving this presentation on what the bible really says about homosexuality and talked about things like how Jesus never says anything about it and in fact perhaps even helped to cure the centurion's servant boy who at that time most likely would have also had a sexual relationship with him. Emily: Oh, my God. When she died, who would be her husband in heaven? In the evangelical world, there are a lot of the songs and prayers that are used talk about, there's this very intimate, individualistic relationship that people have with God and it's very erotic sometimes. then you get the very first one free, then from then on, every three months you get a toothpaste, a little travel toothpaste, a toothbrush head, and a little triple-A battery to run your toothbrush for just 10 bucks and it's super worth it because that's when you should be changing out your toothbrush anyways. On today's episode, we're talking about honestyhonestly. In the church world in addition to leading a congregation in North Seattle, I'm part of a leadership of the United Methodist queer clergy caucus, which is working for a more inclusive church. There's this common symbol in the Bible, and in a lot of New Testament theology that says that the church is the bride of Christ. Again, if youve gotten some value out this, and you can even pledge a low a dollar, you can pledge as low as technically 25 cents per podcast, if you feel like or at least 25 cents. My current projects are around sexuality education with youth in the church-. I don't know, I lost the thread of what Im trying to ask, but what's the stance now unlike what healthy sexuality is while still living a Christian lifestyle? Because every denomination, then there are a lot of churches that are non-denominational as well. R. Mechelke currently lives in Minneapolis, MN. How far can I stretch people without alienating myself?" It's not old, but '90s, "In the secret and the quiet place, I want to touch you. J.D. Still, it's about we are at the point where the human barriers that prevent us from loving each other are things that we should be trying to work to break down here, that's already broken down in the concept of heaven. There's this sort of interesting thing where like, obviously, most of the pastor jobs are in all of these smaller churches, yet most of the Christians being brought up are in these more mega churches. Maybe fruitful for somebody's new paper if they're looking for a project. They ask the question about, if a woman is married to a man, and he dies, and then she marries his brother, and then he dies and then she marries the next brother. Get access to ad-free episodes, monthly video discussion groups, and more by becoming aPatreon supporter! There are clues you can look at is to how open a congregation might be. Multiamory was created by Jase Lindgren, Emily Matlack, and Dedeker Winston. We'll finally know, I haven't read the whole thing. We're going to take a quick break to talk about some of the best ways that you can help to support our show. Yes, it's really hard. It's funny because there are other religious teachings like writings by Siddhartha and stuff that are more of an instruction manual. Raves and Reviews Resources and Downloads Multiamory Essential Tools for Modern Relationships By Jase Lindgren, Dedeker Winston and Emily Sotelo Matlack Published by Cleis Press Distributed by Simon & Schuster Trade Paperback LIST PRICE $18.95 PRICE MAY VARY BY RETAILER Get a FREE ebook by joining our mailing list today! "If you want to support our show, the best way is to become one of our patrons at www.patreon.com/multiamory. The first one though is free with us with your promo code. Mechelke: That's always fun to find. If you do read this whole thing out, please then also include that he *is* single and available in case Susan Sarandon is listening. There are a lot of feelings that may come up; you may feel confused, afraid for their wellbeing, or you may have not even heard the term before at all. Rev. I'm waiting for Emily's face on this. 176 - Christianity and Polyamory Multiamory R. Mechelke (he/him/his) J.D. A virgin is much more economically valuable to a man than somebody who's not a virgin because you want to know that the babies that come out of this woman, you want to know that they're yours. Conservative circles make marriage to be this big thing. Dedeker: I guess we'll do this one at a time, can both of you introduce yourselves and let our listeners know a little bit more about who you are and what it is that you do? Most of those things are in the old testament, by the way, which we understand a lot of the laws that Christians are not required to follow that came through ancient Judaism or even pre-Judaism Jordanian religion. So, beyond sexuality just in general, all of the things that are better understandings are things that have come up. J.D. We'll be talking about radical honesty, selfish honesty, when "just being honest" might mean "just being a jerk," and, as always, we'll be sharing one of our communication tools at the end of the episode to help you approach honesty in the most informed, nuanced way possible. There are verses. This transcript was created using speech recognition software. Log In | GoTranscript Emily:I thought you were saying Electionary. That's going to vary from context to context, and so by not talking about it in some contexts, it upholds the status quo, and in other ones that holds to more of a libertarian live and let live kind of mindset. Yes, you're going to get used to the goat and the whole animal sacrifice thing Emily. I don't want to break that away for anybody. More so than I previously thought. Proceed to checkout.3. Austin:So this coming Sunday, one of the scriptures is actually about Jesus' teaching in a group and somebody says, "Hey, Jesus, your mother and your brothers are here, don't you want to go talk to them?" Today we're talking about saturation, or more specifically, polysaturation, or the state in which a polyamorous person has as many significant relationships as they can handle at a given time. I don't know anything about that particular statistic. We call them the clobber passages in the progressive circles and the text of terror. For today's episode we're joined by Dr. Joli Hamilton, the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. J.D. I think it can be really misleading because we think the Bible must be that same sort of guidebook. Every situation, whether it's denominational or congregational, is going to have its own area of focus on it. I think when people start thinking about whatever it is family values or whatever about the Bible, that I feel like where most people's mind goes is to homosexuality; is that okay or is it not? Full transcript available. Join April and Amy as they inspire radical self-love, sexual empowerment, and shame-free intimacy. We're fortunate enough to be joined by two experts on this very matter, Dr. Heath Schechinger and Diana Adams!Dr. It's just a long paper. Its not like an action you do with something that's done to you, like in Leviticus again, there's is this idea where they put all their sins under this goat and the goat just goes into the wilderness and dies. Emily, I told you there are many instances of mass circumcision in the Bible. Today we have another Q&A episode! J.D. I think that mostly, its something that a lot of church folks have gotten really good at not talking about, partly because they know it's divisive. There's a lot of things. Is there any other conversation around that right now? Obviously, it refers to sex, but virginity was always put on women because men in many senses own women. Rev. Austin: One of the other things that impedes progress in terms of what pastors talk about is also that a lot of pastors went to grad school a long time ago. Rev. The best way you can support our show is to become one of our Patreon supporters, you can go to patreon.com/multiamoryto sign up for that. I see that shift changing, but it's hard. Rev. : I'd love to talk more about that at some point. Austin Adkinson and theologian J.D. I know, right, I don't think of the burning bush, I think of something else. Find out how to manage trust in your relationships on today's episode! J.D. We're all in our own paths spiritually, and if somebody is at a different starting point, than where you are, that to me is more about why we break away those barriers rather than find a scripture that says, "That makes it okay." PRESS KIT | SITE MAP | PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS OF USE | CONTACT, https://www.amazon.com/When-Someone-Love-Polyamorous-Understanding/dp/0996460187/ref=sr_1_5?qid=1689193889&refinements=p_27%3ADr.+Elisabeth+Sheff&s=books&sr=1-5&text=Dr.+Elisabeth+Sheff, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door, https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-your-mom/id1487987837?i=1000554057851, https://unknownmetric.medium.com/the-coffee-break-polyamory-primer-6c64b4dc53de, 432 - The Episode to Share With Your Parents, 431 - Q&A: Sex, Religion, Veto, and the 80/20 Rule with Billy Procida, 428 - Unraveling Jealousy in Five Steps with Dr. Joli Hamilton, 427 - Is Non-Monogamy Just Commitment Phobia? I know the particular database I'm thinking of will even reference, this is the language used on the church website and that's why we think that they're pro LGBT or they specifically say something about women ministers or whatever. Please send us your feedback and questions to info@multiamory.com, find us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast, tweet at us @Multiamory, check out our Facebook Page, visit our website Multiamory.com, or you can leave us a voicemail at 678-MULTI-05. It's not about the body at that point. The ideas of sin in the Bible are more about there's this other thing going on. The Episode to Share With Your Parents - Apple Podcasts in Systematic Theology from Luther Seminary in St. Paul, MN. I love them because theyre a portable sleek, sexy toothbrush. I've been thinking about that a lot. My favorite example is this old song. 262 - Making a Polyamorous Dating App Multiamory Mechelke: Wow, you've read your Bible. : For us too because that just sailed right over me. J.D. Research Assistant. It would be hard to say how widely that is being shifted, but I'm part of trying to actively break down what I think is harmful sexual ethics. From my super limited knowledge, it does seem like things like the nuclear family or monogamy or fidelity are all super important parts of a religious lifestyle, so I don't really understand how something like polyamory, which for all intents and purposes kind of seems like in direct opposition to all those things or parts of all those things, how would polyamory in any way be okay to a religious person, let alone pastors? J.D. It's incredibly complicated. In Christianity or at least the history of Christianity, the best religious lifestyle was this monastic life. I could see that really being worth it to be in a space where you can really get the support that you need for your own growth. was bringing up. Rev. Rev. J.D. That it is each of those. You are doing such important work! There's this story in Genesis 34, where this woman named Dinah who does not have any voice at all. Robert Gass, a great theologian, I'm doubting my Scripture-quoting now. To have that opportunity to do that even just for a little while, it's so important. I was like, "There are different symbols? There's a real mix of helpful and very unhelpful advice out there in the world for dealing with breakups or loss or heartbreaks, things like that. She has also written a book about polyamory from a neurodivergent perspective. Carson. Podcast Editor. Boundaries, and 372: Needs, Desires, Boundaries, and More. Jase:Yes, it's going to take a number of years-. I would say most of it's happening at the congregational level. I feel like I gave a super quick little summary there. In the same ways that a lot of churches have moved past and understand women clergy where it was thought to be that the Bible excluded that as well. Normalizing Non-Monogamy - Interviews in Polyamory and Swinging. That's literally where scapegoat comes from by the way. She writes at The Perfumed Void (the-orbit.net/alyssa), on the subjects of biology, history and her experiences as an autistic ex-Catholic Hispanic transgender immigrant to Canada. Jase: I'd love to talk more about that at some point. So I can see where the church are being very similar, where it's worth it to drive a little further even if it means you cant go quite as often. We've actually said similar things - if you're in parts of the country where it's hard to find a polyamory meet up or something like that, that it's worth it if you have to drive a few hours even to have some kind of community maybe once a month or every couple of months or just something to actually have a little bit of time where you can talk without constantly having to monitor what am I saying? Still, it's about we are at the point where the human barriers that prevent us from loving each other are things that we should be trying to work to break down here, that's already broken down in the concept of heaven. No one person can speak for all of Christianity, there are lots of different flavors and varieties, but even within each denomination there's actually very little discussion around polyamory in most churches.
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